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liamfx:

staff at checkout: that’ll be $9.95
me: here’s $10.00
me: keep the change 
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draqonight:

"don’t complain, I have it worse than you"

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spikespiegell:

do ya ever bring your pet up to a mirror and ur like “that you”

poopflow:

nah mom I went to bed 4 hours ago I just woke up to go to the bathroom

starllex:

when your mom is yelling at you to do more chores while you’re doing chores and you’re there like 

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nickelbackthatassup:

no emoji in the world can replace the depth of :/

dillondean:

thug life? more like hug life. come here

inbox:

there is no reason for “sean” to be pronounced “shawn”

puppyluver43:

I don’t like morning people or mornings or people